It was the night before Christmas, and in your entire space, not a single counter was clean, everything was out of place. The stockings weren’t hung by the fireplace carefully, because you’ve been looking all day and they’re nowhere to be found. No one was snuggled up comfortably in their beds as there was a lot going on in the way everyone slept in the cloaks. Neither of us could find the scarf and cap, we were both so stressed that at any moment we could break. When such a crash was heard on the roof, I tripped over six piles to see what was going on. I flew like lightning to the window, the shutter was broken and so was the frame…

We hope you like our funny parody of a wonderful old holiday poem. Unfortunately, many people don’t find much joy in the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Somehow, the holidays tend to take over us, trapping us stressed and overwhelmed. There are visions of tables that would rival Martha Stewart and food that is not only tasty, but coordinates with the color theme of the occasion. The holidays bring out great ideas in all of us. We catch ourselves thinking, “if only I had more time”, “if only I had more money”, “if only I’d work a little harder”, “this is the year I’m really going to…”. Does any of that sound familiar?

Thanksgiving and Christmas are a myriad of complicated events. No other holiday throughout the year has so much pomp and circumstance associated with it. They’re so close together that Thanksgiving seems to be the harbinger of Christmas stress. And, most stress is self-induced. We seem to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make the Christmas cards, buy the best gifts for everyone, get all the decorations out early, throw school parties for the kids, buy unique and amazing gifts for teachers for $10 or less, attend a lot of festivities christmas , experience the pre-Christmas spiritual events, make the most fabulous and tastiest Christmas treats, and so on. I’m tired just thinking about it!

Why can’t we just let it all go? Would there be a cosmic disturbance if we didn’t send cards this year? Would kids be scarred for life if we only took out half the Christmas decorations? Would our social lives crumble if we just said ‘yes’ to one or two Christmas parties? Why all the pressure?

Watching TV last night reminded me where some of the pressure comes from. There was an ad for a local department store. The models wore matching Christmas outfits, lounged on beautiful new furniture with a cashmere blanket, and admired all their new gifts in their masterfully decorated room. It was a perfect vacation. I don’t know about you, but when we open presents at my house, I’m barely awake, my hair doesn’t look so perfect, I’m wearing my comfy old robe and sitting on our worn furniture. Not the vision of perfection, but ideal for us. Is it less festive because we don’t look like perfection in the commercial? My vision of perfection is not what my family looks like, but how vacations make us feel. It doesn’t take much effort on anyone’s part to feel important at Christmas, to feel loved and special.

I grew up in a modest home. Every year, my sister and I waited in anticipation for JC Penney’s thick holiday catalog to arrive. We poured each page imagining what wonderful toy we would receive from Santa. When Christmas came around, the pages of the catalog were torn, the corners bent, and the book looked tattered. That was part of our holiday ritual. We knew that we would not get all the toys in the catalog, although we chose many. I also remember that we used the same decorations every holiday and put them in the same place. Some of the decorations were made by my sister and I, and we were very proud to bring them out every year. It was part of our vacation. It’s what we did.

How can we make our vacations meaningful and stress-free at the same time? The following is a list of five tips that will reduce stress during this busy time of year.

1. Let go of great ideas. Making your Christmas cards individually would be really amazing, however, do you want to spend so much energy and time on something that is usually thrown away when the holidays are over? You don’t need your dining table to look like a magazine. Let your kids make your decorations and centerpieces and then you can cross that off your to-do list. Also, consider hiring help. Have someone put up your decorations, lights, prepare your food, etc. Let someone else help you, so you can enjoy your vacation.

2. Strive to complete, not perfect. Flylady (http://www.flylady.com) has a theory that a job not done perfectly is still a job done. His thinking is that the end result is a finished job, not a job done perfectly. Both Lori and I get asked a lot “is your house perfect all the time?”. We both have kids, so obviously the answer to that is “no.” We both also understand that our bottom line is always organization, not perfection. We strive for that in our work and in our personal lives. We always encourage others too. Striving for perfection takes too much time and energy, and seems to leave things undone because they can’t always be done perfectly.

3. Plan your month. Traditions, memories, warm feelings of love are all things that people try to create during the holidays. Unfortunately, somewhere in the middle comes parties, shopping, and lots and lots of stress. Try to make a plan at the beginning of the month for how you are going to handle some specific stressors, like decorating the house inside and out, shopping, all the parties, etc., so that you are not yelling at the family when things go wrong. you get up at the last moment and you are not prepared. It takes some discipline, but having a plan for this busy time will force you to be more prepared.

4. If something goes in, something must come out. This is a constant rule of ours and it applies especially to this holiday. Seeing our children’s faces when they open a gift they’ve been looking forward to is a wonderful feeling. We all want to provide for our families and give them the things they want. We also want to be able to walk in their playrooms and weeding is necessary after the holidays. It is much easier for children to put things down when they see the pile of new things. So many people are in need this season and their discarded toys would make another child’s season that much brighter.

5. Breathe. It sounds cliche but it works. Lori and I have been working with Robin Schmeerbach, certified Nia Brown Belt instructor from St. Louis and holistic personal trainer. She has been helping us come up with some training techniques to help improve our minds and bodies. We recently worked on breathing. None of us was aware of how we breathe. Robin informed us that Lori is a typical chest breather, and I am a mix of chest and belly. “Becoming aware of our breath connects us with our autonomic nervous system, which creates a deep state of relaxation,” says Robin. We don’t really think about the actual act of breathing, it’s just something that happens. Robin has been showing us how to become conscious. Consciously breathe deeply and slowly and visualize our lungs filling with air and then letting the air out. This new awareness of our breathing helps us in all aspects of our lives, especially in stressful situations.

It is possible to make our vacations meaningful and less stressful. Letting go of the things that are not that important is vital for an easier vacation. Using the steps above as guidelines for coping will serve as a good foundation.

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