Most of the time, after a relationship breaks up, one partner discovers that they have much stronger feelings than expected and would do almost anything to get back together with their ex.
Sometimes heated or hurtful words were exchanged during the breakup or in the weeks leading up to it due to stress, painful waiting, anger, or irrationality brought on by the end of a relationship. After you and your ex broke up, your ex may have stopped all contact altogether, blocked you from chats or social networking sites, or even gone out of their way to avoid meeting you.
If this and maybe more is happening, don’t worry! It’s not your fault. Your ex is simply dealing with the breakup the best he knows how, even if he still has (possibly strong) feelings for you. This has all happened to me before, and I know you can reverse it all.
(!) Warning! Take this step first for best results.
It can be especially difficult to keep communication open if your ex wants nothing to do with you. Both you and your ex will benefit from giving them a “cooling off” period; This will show your ex that you respect their need to be apart, which they will really appreciate. This time out will also get your ex’s attention, and he or she will wonder about you (in a good way! This probably would NOT happen if you kept calling or texting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, or purposely showing up on the one he or she is hanging out in. This behavior is common after a breakup but caustic—good intentions aside, you’ll most likely push your ex away because he or she isn’t ready to hear from you yet.)
Step #1: First step to get your ex back
After giving your ex enough space, you need to show him that you still care a lot about him and that you want to give your relationship another chance. How you establish communication when he or she is not talking to you must be done carefully.
You can call your ex and ask if there is a time when you can meet up and catch up. If he or she hasn’t spoken to you at all, you may receive a cold or evasive response, so be prepared with a “peace offering.” Peace offerings might include saying that you have a few things you need to apologize for, and then asking if they would mind meeting for lunch.
Step #2: If the direct approach fails with your ex…
If your ex turns down your proposal, he probably needs more time. At one point, he may hire a “go-between” friend.
Tell a good friend that you and your ex trust how much you would like to get back together, and ask if you could meet up with your ex and have a quiet talk and ask if there is a way to do it. slow for your previous mistakes. Since this is already asking a lot of your friend, leave it at that and don’t bother him about it. Don’t expect a call soon after or confront if your friend refuses; be sure to let your friend know that he is under no obligation to do this, as it is a huge favor you are asking for.
Be honest about the fact that your goal is to get back together; The time for “doing it right” is over.
Step #3: A powerful technique to get to your ex
If Step 2 didn’t work for you, write your thoughts in a letter. Stay sincere and avoid making your letter windy. When you’re done, let it sit for at least 24 hours before reading it again, and make sure it says exactly what you intend to say. Make sure your mail reaches the right people; deliver your letter in person, acknowledge any mistakes you have made and any harm you have caused. Apologize and ask your ex to read the letter and tell you if there is any way to make it up to him.
When you’re trying to reconnect with a loved one where a relationship has gone wrong, you have to speak from the heart, be honest, and expose yourself to the possibility of rejection. It’s good to give your ex some space and let him know you’re ready for him when he’s ready to give him another chance.
I tried this plan on my breakup and it was successful (to my surprise!)