Did you know that statistically relationships now only last a maximum of 4 years?
This means that the era of long-term relationships that our parents experienced is over. And if this is true, I think the bigger questions are, why are relationships so short term these days and do we have the power to change this statistic?
The first answer is… disconnected heart cords.
The second answer is YES!
Our consciousness has expanded. We no longer tolerate what our mothers or fathers endured and now we know that staying together for the sake of the children was not always the best idea.
Today’s couples only stay together when there is a willingness to learn from each other. If we are not willing to openly learn about ourselves, improve and update our attitudes and behaviors, and live with an open heart, the relationship will unfortunately experience more difficulties than necessary.
The old ways of coexisting and pretending everything is fine are no longer acceptable. Life is too short as it is and the only commitment we are asked to make is the one that opens our hearts to the truth of who we are.
If you’d like help creating healthy, lasting, and mutually rewarding relationships, I recommend reading the following seven keys to strengthening your heartstrings.
Now you may be wondering what are cardiac cords? When two people are in a relationship, the ties of the heart are what keep the attraction and connection alive. The heart cords, like air, are invisible to the physical eye. They are made of light energy and connect each soul at the heart. We have heart cords that connect us to our parents, siblings, children, friends, and our spouse/partner. There are many cords of light that carry energy between each heart. When you speak against the soul that is connected to your heart energy, a string is cut. If many of your heartstrings are cut and do not heal, over time the relationship will naturally disconnect in the physical realm. So if you want your relationships to be healthy and fulfilling, you’d be wise to learn how to strengthen your heartstrings.
Remember… our reality is based on experiencing two main energetic vibrations that are at opposite ends of the spectrum ~ Fear or Love… The energy of love is expressed through an open heart and embodies happiness, gratitude, truth, trust, compassion, etc. . Love is the only power that can reconnect and strengthen the bonds of the heart. Fear, on the other hand, is expressed through a closed heart and manifests as anger, avoidance, depression, guilt, jealousy, hate, resentment, etc. Fear, of course, is what cuts the heartstrings and is the cause of most separations.
Below are what I call the 7 keys to keeping your heart ties connected. However, for now let’s apply the following guidelines to intimate relationships; they apply to each and every relationship.
1. Praise your beloved in front of others. The next time you are out with friends and family and your loved one, praise him or her to let everyone know what a wonderful person he or she is. You must develop the habit of thinking and speaking positively about your spouse/partner to strengthen the loving bond between the two, speaking negatively to your friends and especially to your family about your loved one cuts the strings of the heart. Also, your family and friends will strongly hold onto what was said long after you have forgiven each other and moved past any disagreements. Discuss problems only with those you can trust and who can see both sides. If you need to talk, seek professional help and hire a relationship coach or counselor.
2. Be realistic with your emotions. If you yell or yell or project negative emotions onto your partner, you are cutting a lot of heart ties. People who have not been taught how to manage their emotions will create an emotional transference in an attempt to dump toxic energy onto their spouse/partner. Instead, if you need to blow off some steam, go to your room, close the door, get on your knees and bang on the bed and yell and yell into your pillow. Get it all out before you stand up and face your beloved. Focus your self-talk on I AM statements such as, I feel angry because I am afraid of being taken for granted, or I feel sad because I am afraid that our disconnection will not be resolved, or I am frustrated because I have a problem. Afraid you won’t listen to what I have to say. The only one responsible for your emotions is you and if you want to turn your current relationship into something positive, take responsibility, learn to manage your emotions and heal the broken hearts of the past.
3. Let go of the need to create drama. Emotional drama is created because someone is seeking attention. They have too many heart ties severed from previous relationships and feel deeply hurt inside. They feel that the only way someone will love them is by manipulating or persuading them to get their way. Although we may think that we are cheating on our partner/spouse, manipulation and deception do not deceive the soul. When a soul feels manipulated, many heart strings are unhooked at the root. Drama is also created because a spouse/partner is bored with stagnation and will do anything to recharge the relationship with energy, unfortunately that energy is always a negative force. Follow the tips given above (#2) above. It’s up to you to heal the broken heartstrings of your past. It is not the responsibility of their spouses/partners.
4. Create heart-to-heart conversations. If they are afraid of each other, their relationship will not last and all ties will be severed. Fear manifests as avoidance, pretending to be busy at work, lack of eye contact, lack of intimacy, and ultimately, lack of communication. You can face your fear and take the time to create heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse/partner every day for at least 10 minutes. Heart-to-heart conversations are powerfully transformative when both face each other and make eye contact while expressing the truth. You are sharing only your inner experiences and not what you want your partner to change. Express what you need, what you want and what your heart desires. Remember, your beloved wants you to be happy, however; he may not be able to satisfy all of his needs, wants, and desires, and vice versa. This exercise is about you speaking your truth about how you feel and what actions you are ready to take to make a change. Your heart strings reconnect and strengthen when you both feel recognized. Acknowledge each other’s needs, wants, and desires with a “Thank you for sharing your truth.” At the end of each conversation, ask each other, “What do you need from me that you feel I haven’t given you?” Focus on what you can do to help lift and fulfill each other’s spirits for a better life.
5. Release your fear of the truth. Pretending everything is fine or lying to yourself or your loved one is one of the surest ways to cut heart ties. It is only the lies we tell ourselves that create drama and emotional pain. The barrier most people face in expressing their truth is that they don’t want to hurt others or cause trouble or they will be ashamed to admit a lie. The trick to admitting the truth is to reveal your inner experience instead of blaming someone else for your experience. Revealing your inner experience is communicating what you are feeling inside, for example, “I feel unhappy because I keep putting your needs before mine.” or “I feel very angry with you because I feel disconnected and alone.” Now just take a deep breath with no expectations. Facing the truth of how you feel and not blaming your loved one is a great step in reconnecting the ties of the heart. The important thing here is that you be real with yourself and know that your partner is never to blame for your unhappiness. It is your avoidance of your true feelings that creates unhappiness.
6. Use gratitude and appreciation to end the conflict. Do you want to learn the number one way to end any argument? Arguments are created because your loved one feels his heart strings are disconnected and he has no idea how to reconnect them. The energy of gratitude and appreciation has the power to take broken heartstrings and reconnect them. Gratitude and appreciation are shown in the form of sincere compliments and praise. For example, show gratitude and appreciation after each conversation. You can say, “Thank you! I know it wasn’t easy for you to express your truth. I’m so proud of you.” You are showing me the importance of truth and how easy it can be to express it. I appreciate your efforts to show me how to open my heart” or “”Who you are is remarkable. I focus on concentrating only on your behavior that I want you to change because it no longer serves you or us. I am now learning to focus on the behaviors and attitudes that I need to change instead of focusing on you”. Sincere praise after any disagreement or argument reinforces the positive power of airing such issues. This shows that you care about hearing what is important to your beloved. Now the conversation shifts to understanding that breathes new heart energies of laughter, connection, and peace of mind into your relational experience. Heart lanyards love hugs.
7. Create a compelling future. We are drawn to those who have a vision. A vision that empowers our lives and the world. The ties of the heart begin to dissolve if they focus on a bitter past or project a bleak future together. If you have made a conscious decision to work things out and are willing to learn from each other, then to recharge your heart strings you need to have a common vision and a focus on a compelling future. Your future is created through the projections of the heart and that is why it is important to know what your heart desires. Some questions you can ask yourself are: Who do I want to become? What legacy do we want to leave as a couple? How can we contribute to the greater good? What do we both want to experience in 6 months, in 1 year or in 4 years? When you both align and see exciting future possibilities, you are energetically launching into a more fulfilling life and your heartstrings become more vibrant and healthy.
Remember, what people want most is to feel connected. If someone is upset with you it is because they unconsciously feel disconnected from you. Use the information above as an opportunity to create transformation in any relationship. Now you have the power and knowledge to reestablish the connection by strengthening the bonds of the heart. If we each take responsibility for raising a spirit instead of crushing someone’s spirit, we will create a beautiful life for all.