Sometimes I hear from women who are upset and worried that the other woman is still trying to keep in touch with the husband. A common way that she will try to do this is through text messages. That way, she doesn’t have to talk to him and risk getting rejected, but she’s still putting herself in the situation in case he changes his mind.
I heard a wife say, “The woman my husband had an affair with is apparently having a hard time accepting that it’s over. She’s constantly texting him. I don’t think I’m encouraging her or going behind my back because, the half of At that time the texts come when he is standing next to me and not trying to hide it. Sometimes he tells her that he is busy and other times he ignores her. She sends him stupid texts like asking him what is doing or is she happy. How do I make this stop? I want her out of my life. Sometimes I’m tempted to pick up her phone, call her back, and yell at her. But then I wonder if that’s the best idea”.
I had to accept that it probably wasn’t the best idea to confront her or even talk to her. It wasn’t likely that confronting her would suddenly convince her to stop. In fact, sometimes it just makes her more determined to become a pest. In fact, I find that the more you get involved with her, the more difficult it will be to get her to leave you alone. Because once you get involved, she’ll feel like she’s responding to you and now she has a valid reason to continue the cycle.
Also, you may just want to make sure that your husband has been as clear as possible and has not left any room for her to misunderstand. Some people have a hard time being very direct and even harsh after an affair is over. Unfortunately, sometimes this is what is required before she takes a lead. If being very assertive doesn’t work, then I think there is a way to handle this that takes a response out of your hands, which I’ll talk about later.
Block her from calling or texting: I think the best first course of action is to contact your cell phone carrier and block their numbers. All carriers are different, but most of the time, this is a simple process. In fact, I can easily enter the number I want to block online with my own provider. A quick trip online or a quick phone call will often tell you what to do to prevent her from being able to call or text. You’ll probably want to block his cell phone, his work phone, and his home phone just to prevent you from having an easy or convenient way to contact him.
The next step only if necessary: Sometimes the other woman doesn’t give up so easily. I heard that the other woman bought a new cell phone, she used a friend’s phone, or even used a pay phone to continue calling after she blocked her. You have a couple of options. You can continue to block all the numbers you use and expect it to try to change phones all the time. However, the husband might consider changing her cell phone number. I know this is a big drawback that many people will be reluctant to follow. But sometimes this is another alternative to getting a restraining order or staying in contact with her (although restraining orders are there if you need them). I find that the nastier things get, the more he tends to hold on because the more he had invested. The quicker he can stop the process, the more likely she is to stop. Changing her cell number often means she has no way to continue texting you. And texting her is often the easiest way for her to stick it out. You may also want to block her from email and social media accounts. You don’t want to give him any way to continue monitoring or contact him.
Often she won’t like being cut out of your life like this, but you haven’t really given her a say. And hopefully, using technology to block her will show her that her husband means what she says about her when she tells him that she’s over. And therefore, she must start moving on with her own life so that you and her husband can do the same.