The thought of no more diapers is enough to make most parents happy. Visualizing the end of cost and inconvenience (and don’t forget the smell) makes them so excited! Children learn certain skills called developmental milestones at predictable times. These milestones are developed sequentially. For example, a child usually crawls before walking. Potty training readiness is a developmental milestone. Every child is different, reaching these milestones in their own time, and the age range for being ready to be potty trained is actually quite wide. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that toilet training readiness generally occurs between 18 and 30 months of age.
The excitement created by imagining the end of diapering can lead you to push potty training too soon. Your child must be physically ready to enter this phase of development, and forcing it will only cause frustration and discomfort for you and your child. He or she should be able to hold urine for 2 to 3 hours (this indicates that the bladder muscles are developed to store urine).
There are certain signs that we see at our center that tell us that a child may be ready to be potty trained. If a child’s diaper stays consistently dry for 2-3 hours and they are able to walk to the bathroom on their own, we will often suggest to parents that the child may be ready to begin this new phase of development. Sometimes kids tell us they want to try it after seeing their friends use the toilet successfully. Seeing their friends showered with praise motivates many children to want to create a similar experience for themselves. Young children are eager to please and respond incredibly well to positive reinforcement. We even reward kids with stickers after a successful potty trip.
If your child has a consistently dry diaper, demonstrates a desire for independence, and shows an interest in imitating the toilet habits of others, then it’s probably time to try potty training!
More than anything else, potty training requires consistency and the ability to listen and watch for cues. Provide your child with regular and consistent opportunities to use the bathroom. Even if she doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing, take him to the bathroom and ask him to try to urinate. Often, in the early stages of potty training, if you wait for the child to tell you when she should go potty, it will be too late. Watch for tell-tale signs, such as fidgeting or grasping at the genital area, so you know it may be necessary to go to the bathroom. If you notice the signs, move quickly – most children show signs just before they need to go. Unfortunately, there are very few caveats in potty training. In the absence of signs, it’s best to err on the side of caution and take regular breaks to provide plenty of opportunity for success and the feelings of pride that come with that success. If your child has an accident (and it will) she doesn’t get mad or yell at him. This will break her trust and may lead them to regress and need to wear diapers all the time, undoing all their hard work. Be positive and understanding and tell them it’s okay and they can try again later.
In the early stages of training, your child will need a lot of help. They may need help getting their pants up or down, and they will definitely need help getting clean. Talk to them about the proper way to clean themselves so they learn good hygiene early on. At first, encourage them to call you when they’re done so you can help. Even if you clean yourself up, have your child wash their hands with soap and water. This way they will learn that they need to wash each time they use the bathroom.
If your child is in daycare, do yourself and your child’s teacher a big favor and send several pairs of underwear and at least one change of clothes. At our school we are diligent and persistent in taking children to the bathroom regularly, but accidents do happen.
Every child has different comfort zones. Some prefer a potty while others prefer to use the bathroom. If her child prefers the toilet, she can buy a small seat that fits on a regular toilet to make it comfortable for the little ones to sit on. This eliminates the fear of falling and allows the child to relax. Most day care centers will have potties available (they are sterilized after each use) for children, as well as smaller toilets for children. Ask your child’s teacher what you need provided.
If you are going to go to the bathroom, I recommend completely eliminating diapers during the day. A pull-up at naptime and bedtime is probably a good idea in the early stages of training, since many children don’t wake up when they need to go to the bathroom. This will save you from late night bedding changes. When your son starts calling you at night to take him to the bathroom, or when he wakes up in the morning with a dry pull-up, he’s probably ready to sleep in his underwear.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your child just isn’t ready for potty training. If this is the case, it’s best to quit and try again a couple of months later. Don’t see this as a failure. Just accept that your child wasn’t ready. Trust me, you are doing more good by waiting than you would force the issue and create a stressful and anxiety-filled situation for your child.
Now here’s a little catch to watch out for. Although your child can successfully use the toilet to urinate regularly, he may be completely resistant to going into the toilet. It is difficult for children to hold urine once they are on the potty, but bowel movements can be controlled. You can get your child out of the toilet, only to see him go and hide behind the couch and poop. This can be incredibly frustrating and infuriating! Don’t get angry and don’t yell! It seems very easy to you, but for your young child it is a very new experience. Relax and take a deep breath, as my grandmother would say, “This will pass!” Calmly explain to them that they should also defecate in the potty. They will get it. It will just take a little more time.
In my experience, girls seem to be potty trained fairly quickly, while boys tend to take a little longer. Also keep in mind that young boys usually sit down to urinate in the early stages of training. It is easier for them to sit down and go than to think about standing up, pointing and going. They will begin to copy their peers and family members, imitating those around them, and the urination position will develop.
Remember, your child will let you know when they are ready. There is no perfect moment. Just because little Suzie is exactly the same age as your little princess doesn’t mean that both girls are ready to be potty trained. Resist the urge to compare her child to others. Watch for your child to give you signs that he is ready. Talk to your teachers or caregivers throughout the day about whether or not they feel your child is ready. Most importantly, before you begin potty training, make sure you have the time and energy to devote to training. You cannot focus on training only when it suits you. You must be constant! If both you and your child are ready for this new challenge, remember that verbal praise and rewards work wonders during this process. There will be some accidents, but if you stick with it and stay positive, before you know it you’ll be rid of those expensive, stinky diapers!