Communication on social media can be essential to keep us informed about the people we have in our lives. It can improve our lives through the rapid exchange of information, leading to new ideas and emotional stimulation. But communication on social media will never provide what real life intimacy does. If you are overly satisfied with tweets, image sharing, and posts, you can become the pseudo person that no one really knows or misses.
Despite the benefits of convenience and immediacy, social media has become, for many people, a tool that limits, not enhance, intimacy in relationships. Responding to someone’s Facebook post or acknowledging someone’s last Instagram post has been mistaken for actually being in a relationship. It is true that these more superficial modes of communication on social networks have created a higher frequency of contact between people, but is it the type of contact that really matters? Most people admit that they spend too much time managing and thinking about the influx of information online and over the phone text messages.
In most cases, social networks have not created connections between people that lead to experiences of deepening, growth or improvement of life. The new standard of saturation of online communication has replaced the more personal ways of participating in the exchange of information.
Broadcasting a photo of the giant burger you’re going to lunch or sharing a quick opinion on the movie you just watched can be fun and there’s no point in tweeting an opinion or thought before forgetting it. But there is a downside to these short sound bites that replace more personal forms of contact that create more emotional and expansive experiences between people.
The immediacy and ease offered by contact in social networks has become, for many, an addictive substitute for real connections, and has normalized the development of pseudo-relationships, that is, a physical exchange of communication through technology that it lacks depth, sharing. experiences between people.
Of course, we do not need or desire intimacy with everyone who affects our lives in some incidental way. These peripheral relationships lend themselves well to communication on social media. But when the people we care about, or the people who might be important to us, are relegated to our social media contact pattern, the opportunities to make real connections are greatly diminished.
Common problems that are part of pseudo-relationship syndrome
The fear of intimacy is often behind why some people get saturated with communication on social networks. Many say there is less vulnerability online, so the experience of rejection feels muted. The reality is that online vulnerability can pose an even greater risk to self-esteem. Sharing too much information online in words and pictures exposes one to excessive judgment and possible rejection, conflict, and embarrassment in the relationship.
The idea of being protected from rejection or pain by online experiences versus real-time experiences is not accurate, as many people are now learning through negative experiences of overexposure to the masses.
Many people experience tremendous shame, regret, and anxiety from overuse of communication on social media, and yet they continue to do so. Is it an addiction or just a normalized way of relating to people in modern times?
Is self-esteem the problem?
People with low self-esteem enjoy social media contacts to boost their ego. It’s easy to become dependent on large numbers of people giving you feedback and attention on their social media. For many, these new personal media statistics have become a measure of self-esteem within their social groups and business communities. This desire to manipulate people into developing positive perspectives on oneself creates a tendency, for many, to lie or embellish personal information or achievements. There is a risk online for people with shaky self-esteem, as feedback can be brutally critical, causing one to feel excessive personal shame, anxiety, and isolation. And the humiliation of being exposed for lying can also be devastating to self-esteem.
The attraction of drama
Using social media to communicate as a primary form of communication tends to keep relationships superficial, but it can also create a great source of drama. People who yearn for conflict or chaos are particularly prone to obsession with social media, as their over-involvement with what people do and say can trigger the intense emotional responses they crave. You cannot retrieve a photo once it has been viewed. You cannot erase words that might hurt someone or make them want to hurt you with you. The ease and immediacy of technology creates an impulsiveness that many people cannot control. It feels powerful the moment you conflict with someone online, and yet it can turn into an obsessive dynamic with negative results on both a personal and professional level.
Dealing with these emotional issues is an essential part of reducing the overuse of social media communication and its negative outcomes. Learning to properly use social media as a springboard to developing more meaningful relationships will preserve it as a positive medium for communication rather than a faulty replacement for a healthy relationship with the people in your life. A tweet will never feel as good as a smile, a handshake, a hug, or a kiss.