When faced with a tiger, a surge of adrenaline, cortisone, and other stress hormones prepares us to escape and survive. But when you’re faced with a traffic jam, an angry customer, or an overdue bill, the same inherent stress response becomes counterproductive and even harmful.
We need ways to manage our stress that reduce these automatic reactions and allow us to think calmly and clearly about the best way to solve the problem. Fortunately, there are such simple stress management techniques.
A simple technique to control your physical stress reaction
Often at the lowest level of our consciousness is our physical reaction to stress. Our heartbeat quickens, our breathing becomes rapid and shallow, our blood pressure rises, and our muscles tense. Our bloodstream is flooded with a mixture of chemicals to help us survive a physically dangerous encounter intact. None of which helps with that dreaded phone call or late essay.
To physically calm down and return to a state of calm and readiness, simply become aware of your breath, take control of it, go deeper, and slow down.
The parts of the brain that control breathing usually work on their own. By taking conscious control, we re-establish our control over our physical reactions and change our mental and physical state.
A simple technique to manage your emotional stress reaction
Emotional reactions to stress can be the most distressing. Often, too, our stress is interpersonal (having to do with other people), and getting emotionally upset can make the situation worse.
Emotional stress reactions include anger or irritability, anxiety or dread, and depression or helplessness.
Building on the simple stress management technique for physical reaction, slow and deepen your breathing as you become aware of how your emotion feels in your body. When you notice your body’s reaction, name your emotion and acknowledge it. Then remind yourself that in this situation, it is more helpful to have a wider range of resources at your disposal, and that a calm mind and body will help you achieve this. By doing so, your emotional reaction begins to recede.
A simple technique to control your mental stress reaction
Physical stress reactions arise from emotions, and emotions arise from thoughts. Having calmed your body and his emotions, you can take a moment to notice the thoughts that led to it. Keep a record and find out what thoughts tend to trigger a stress response. These are called “automatic thoughts” because they appear on their own, probably because someone well-meaning or not put them into your head during your childhood.
Once you have a good idea of what your automatic thoughts are, you can start changing them.
Write down logical, adult, and nonblaming counterthoughts for each of your automatic thoughts.
Reserve a few minutes and calm down with a slow and calm breath, thinking of a nice and relaxing place.
In a calm, reflective state, first say the automatic thought as if you were quoting it to someone, then follow it up with the new thought. Repeat this a few times, allowing the conviction to slip out of the automatic thought and flow into the replacement thought.
Repeat this exercise until the automatic thought is resolved.
These simple stress management techniques can help you shift your thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions in the direction of the calm competence that is your best state for handling life’s challenges.