It may surprise you that working as a writer is a life full of danger and panic.
Working as a writer the worst danger, one would think, might be getting a paper cut. Of course, that COULD happen, if you ever touched real paper. I do not. In fact, I write on paper so infrequently that my handwriting, once quite pretty, now resembles the illegible scribbles of a medical student.
So, the paper cutouts are out.
But there is still danger, danger and panic in this field. To celebrate International Panic Day, how about we take a look at the top ten causes (real and imagined) of panic for freelance writers?
- Amnesia. You know those recurring nightmares where you skipped a class for the entire semester and now you need to take the final exam? You know, the one where you’re not prepared, you have no idea where the class meets, and you know if you fail this, you don’t graduate? Yes, that. In the world of freelance writers, this comes across as the project you completely forgot you were supposed to be working on. Your client ordered it some way that isn’t the norm (perhaps over the phone), you agreed to do it, and then you spaced it out entirely. Now you’ve just received a message asking about the status of the project… and your heart is in your throat.
- Accidental spin delivery. You create a working document full of research, notes and all kinds of clutter. It works for you while you’re crafting your client’s part, because you just jump back and forth from the working document to the real thing, happily working. All is well until you turn in the project and get an email response like “HUHHHHH?” and you realize that you feel that your client is the working doctor in all the horrible horror of it.
- accidental answer. You have a client who is in the bubble. You’re debating whether to persevere with his ghastly project or clear him out, eat him, and fire him. You vent to a friend or seek advice from another writer by forwarding the last stupid email you just received from the client. you believe But what actually happened was that instead of forwarding, you actually replied to the client. No returns. No repeats.
- Fagot. You’re probably working on a really hateful project. You’re 95% done now and, thinking of yourself, you’ll never write another article on XYZ if you can get this one done. Suddenly BLOOP. Your document is gone. You use it, you saved it, but it’s nowhere.
- Graceful. You’re walking through Starbucks with your venti salted caramel treat, spotting the last comfy chair near a retail outlet. You’re so focused on getting there that you don’t notice the wet stain on the floor, you slip on it, drop your laptop (which for some stupid reason you were carrying loose), it opens and your coffee spills all over. over it.
- Premature termination of the project. You have a long conversation with a client about a new project he wants you to do. You have all the necessary information and go deeper. Probably your best work! You deliver with a flourish and get an email response that says, “Um, thanks, but I never actually gave you the green light on this. I changed my mind and don’t need it after all. But thanks!”
- frustrated airport. You are falling behind on some projects and have a big trip planned. No problem, you can imagine, you’ll just work like crazy at the airport and on the plane. The problem is that your airport does not have Wi-Fi, neither free nor paid. And you still need a lot of research before you can write.
- Math error. OK, anything with math is potentially panic-worthy. But what if you bill your client, they pay you, and THEN you realize you had the mother of all math errors on that bill, so you went a long way short? What an idiot you will feel going back to said client saying, “Well, I can’t do math, but at least I can write.”
- go to failure. You’re screen sharing with a client and you foolishly forget to exit all other open tabs in your browser. Oh, any number of panic-worthy things could happen next. He’ll leave that to her own nightmarish imagination.
- Off the record. You are in charge of interviewing someone. A great wig. You’re as nervous as I could be. It’s all you can do to keep from throwing up while asking questions. So instead of taking notes, you focus on the questions and let your voice recorder capture all the answers. Except it doesn’t. Because you forgot to turn it on. And then your client (and the interviewee) ask for a copy of the recording.
Well, happy International Panic Day! 🙂
Hopefully these disasters live only in your nightmares, never in reality.